If you don't die, when do you go to heaven?

So I met up with the missionaries again, who this time planned to bring others with them, including 'elders'. The first two to arrive were the two girls who I'd met originally, and they said that Anthony was right behind them, and surely enough Anthony appeared... but it was Anthony... as in the Anthony I know from Starbucks and had partied with just a couple weeks prior. Classic.

The girls giggled at the "new york" moment, and I started shooting the shit with Anthony. He disappeared for a moment, and when he came back he handed me his phone which had a message on it that basically said "they don't know I drink, they know my mom, don't say anything". Classic.

The two elders came in, looking like a couple classic cult members probably pretty close to 30, give or take. I wanted to see how long I could keep the conversation going without bringing up jesus talk, and I'd say I did an awesome job. I had them talking about everything from the lakers game, myspace vs facebook, hobo 2.0, music, and programming with JavaScript.

Eventually, maybe an hour deep, last weeks little bet came up. This would be my prayer for a smooth jam session, and if the jam session went smooth, as prayed for, then god must exist. I alerted them that having not gone smoothly, it was clear that the notion of god could now be brushed off. They didn't agree.

This resulted in a conversation you might expect, them explaining why prayer is still good, me explaining the lack of a correlation between the success of those who pray and those who don't, and them left with little to say other than what was already said and de-bunked.

They tried to explain that life is god testing us, preparing us for the afterlife. They explained that prayer is a way of guiding us and giving us answers. I explained that I knew high school delinquents that liked open book tests too. They explained that god has a plan for everyone, so its not so much asking for favors as it is asking god what it his he wants for you. I explained that I can make my own path and take ownership of the results, as millions have before me.

The one underlying theme in religion is contradiction and logic that eats itself. I thought one of the funnier moments was when I mentioned that people who don't believe in god or pray have achieved great success, just as some who do believe. I was then asked "did those non-believers die?", "eventually yes, of course" I responded. With a straight face and a smug look he replied "well then"... A bit dumbfounded, I replied... "um... Religious people die too". That threw him way off, it's like he temporarily forgot about death or something.

They finally took off seeming confused and frustrated. I look at it as a way to further understand the craziness of religion, as I'll probably have to use these people for food or a roof once in a while come my hobo days. Thank god for that.