Jesus puts girls in the missionary position

What would you do if two cute girls showed up at your door looking to spread the word of jesus? Well I wasn't too busy, so I ended up talking to them just over an hour about their lives, the whole god thing, and how google compares to god as far as getting answers.

Turns out these girls are in from utah for 18 months to help spread the word of Jesus to queens. According to this guy gordon (who gets direct messages from god or jesus or both), they're not allowed to drink or even use the internet as long as they're out here. I had some music playing in the background, I found out even this was spoiling them.

I was looking for some kind of explanation as to why one would go with the whole god thing, but I eventually got them to admit that there was in fact no correlation between the success of those who believe and those who don't, and they started talking about how everyone goes to heaven if they want anyways, but you can gain better ranks by listening to gordon.

At the end of it all I got them promising to grab a burger in a couple weeks to discuss our little bet. I said I'd go forth with god if he answered my prayer (see the image for their prayer instructions) to have our show go off without a hitch. Seeing how most people didn't show up and the audio cut in and out, it's pretty clear that god isn't for real. Finally we have an answer to that age old question, I look forward to sharing this with the girls so they can take a load off and go grab a beer with me.