Dating tips from the apartment

Guide them around a museum.
Watch several hours of a re-enactment of popular musicals, as performed by one girl.
Sleep with her until she's a lesbian, then sleep with her again.
Pop in some John Legend.
Pour a $90 bottle of wine in your pets bowl.
Spit in her face after doing their sister.
Wait until they say they hate you, then insist they don't.
If all else fails, have a few drinks, you'll finger something out.